Right well I started this job in April and thought okay lets do this after haing my confidence shattered from the last boss I had. Now here I am having my confidence shattered again because I am questioned and second gussed all the time. Members of staff have started to bully me by when I am talking just ignoring mw and looking away as well as saying how wonderful this woman is who started at the same time as me is also. All this making me very down and like crap basically, I have explained about my depression and that I am prone to Panic Attacks but it seems to be swept away with my maneger saying ‘I don’t want the girls to have to walk ok egg shells around you’ and ‘They are all really lovely here’ Some are and also very lovely but when you work in close quaters with some women with only 30 minutes away from them each day, it is very hard to ignore it. Also they have started talking behind my back and being rude.
All I wanted was to make friends and work with kids but I am constantly trying to prove myself and work but I end up making all these mistakes. I took a mental health day today because I have had two panic attacks from when I got home yesterday night. I have felt anxious all day as well when I have bad nights I normally brighten up but this time I haven’t at all.
So my question is would you leave? Or stay? Because I don’t feel like I fit in at all is what my gut tells me. I don’t seem to gel with this team no matter how hard I try, there was this girl when I started at my last place who was qualified and she tried to makes friends but ended up being hated by all, I guess that is me now, everyone hates me.
I don’t want to work in childcare of all the people I meet are like this.